Letting the ref know what colorful adjectives describe him. Taking out frustration on a headset. Slamming your hat into the ground. Grabbing a kid by the facemask.
Either you’ve done some of these things yourself, or you know someone who has.
Let’s face it, football is an emotionally-charged, ticking time-bomb.
It’s easy to let all of that emotion out. It can feel good, right? But does it make things better? Blowing off this steam may make you feel better, but your coaches, fans, and most importantly, your kids, may feel otherwise.
At some point in your career, you are going to be completely dumbfounded by something that a kid, or official does. It’s a guarantee. How you handle yourself in that situation has the power to define who you are as a coach. Blowing up, while it may prove a point, can have far greater negative implications that positive results.
Consider the following:
There is a game going on. A heated competition. Is that really the place to blow a gasket. While you are displaying your mastery of English semantics for the official, your QB is waiting for a call. Your team is falling behind. You lose the advantage of being steps ahead of your opponent. Unless there is a stoppage of play, you can’t afford to waste time with officials. Does this even work? Try talking to your wife that way. Ouch.
Does blowing up prove anything? It can. Don’t get me wrong, I think that in certain situations that over displaying emotion can serve a purpose. But it has to be used a tool, a specific, situational tool. You can’t scream, rant and throw things all the time, especially not during a contest. When it’s all you do, then it’s all people expect. Think of it like the boy who cried wolf. If you are constantly harping every call, or jerking kids around by the facemask (which I detest), there is no distinction of conduct. People write you off as angry and you don’t have a valid argument that you are not. Practice is the place to get it out. Tossing your playcall sheet when the offense isn’t executing shows your kids to get it together. Toss it during a game and your administration may be discussing conduct with you.
It’s hard on you. No coach wants to die from coaching, do they? Blood pressure spikes are for real. Some guys have to teach a class the next day, or play with their kids, and they need a voice to do it. It’s not worth it.
Here’s a scenario: Craig is your starting left tackle. He’s a kid with monster ability. You asked Craig to carry the football bag to the practice field. Instead, he gets someone else to do it. During practice, Craig sluffs through plays that are not called to his side. It’s time for team offense. You have two choices, A) scream at the guy, letting him know he isn’t doing his job and he better pick it up, or, B) put someone else in. Both options are going teach Craig a lesson. Option A takes a great deal of effort on your part and then you hope he picks it up. Option B requires less of you, and shows him a consequence. Both teach. B is more effective because it teaches without you having to be a berating bad guy.
What effect does this have on your kids? This may not be something you have thought of, but kids, even the ones you aren’t blowing up on are, paying attention. If a kid is yelled at all of the time when he is at home, football may be all too familiar and uncomfortable. Aren’t we supposed to be role models? Don’t belittle kids. They don’t know as much as you. They aren’t as strong as you. They are not you. Find a way to relate before it’s too late. This is especially true in youth and junior high sports. An article by veteran coach and speaker Bruce Brown cites that “72 percent of athletes in America drop out of organized athletics by the age of 13.” 72 percent? That’s 7 out of 10 kids that play junior high ball that don’t make it to high school. Make them want to play football, not hate it. One of the greatest indicators of anger that we can perceive as humans is yelling. Don’t be angry. Be productive.
The bottom line is that if you want to get ahead, either on the field, or in relationships with your kids, coach smarter, not harder.
